10 days out from surgery

I have changed the title and address to this blog sooo many times. I decided I am struggling with how random this situation is and so I decided to go to one of my personal obsessions, random number generation. I now have new numbers thanks to my pathology report. Surgery was awful and recovery was like crawling across the floor over broken glass. The more days between me and the hospital, the better it gets. Why did this happen? Why wasn't it worse? Why wasn't it better? Why did D get cancer at stage 4, me at stage 1? I can't make it all stay put today. It's not behaving at all. My surgeon and nurse said they have never seen someone's parathyroids kick back in so quickly before. Am I allowed to be pleased? Will I be punished even more for being such a braggart? Do I need to supplicate myself to faceless gods every day of my life?